Aegteskab (marriage), venskab (friendship), kærlighedskab (love), venskabskab (companionship), skab (cupboard!)… all the ‘skabs.’ In Denmark, it feels like everything has a little cupboard—a neat way of storing abstract concepts and states of being. These metaphors aren’t just charming; they represent how Danes put life into small, meaningful compartments.
I planned to dedicate this column to children’s communities, but as it turns out, my journey as an expat threw yet another surprise my way last week. Surprises may come as no surprise, ironically, to the seasoned expat!
You see, I agreed to a two-week stint of solo parenting while my husband travelled to the Land Down Under for work. And while this isn’t the most dramatic thing in the world, juggling a 37-hour work week with chauffeuring both kids to their clubs, cooking, cleaning, and the endless house admin quickly became… a lot. Then, the lightning bolt of sickness struck. Enter the Norovirus (or “Roskildesyge”).
Now, most Danish words don’t stick in my tired brain, but this one—this will be seared in my memory forever, though I’d like to forget it! The illness hit me hard, and just when I thought I couldn’t manage, something beautiful happened: our little community—those we’ve come to know over the past 27 months—came together.
I’m in awe of how Danes support each other within their communities—whether it’s neighbours, friends, or even strangers, people step up when it matters. Danes may have a reputation for being a ‘tight’ society, and while they may not be as outwardly open as Southern Europeans, Brits, or Americans, their sense of integration is profound. Once a Dane befriends you, it’s often for life.
Take the kids’ football club, for example—it’s not just a club; it’s a fodboldfællesskab (football community). It extends far beyond sports, creating a space for volunteering, fundraising, socialising, and, of course, playing football. In London, I’m not sure this same depth of community exists. It makes me wonder how other cultures foster that same sense of togetherness.
My own small community rallied around me in the last two weeks—friends picking up the kids from school, offering playdates, dropping off meals, and sending supportive messages. I was blown away by the kindness of Danes and expats alike! It wasn’t just help—it was a testament to the power of fællesskab (community) and how, when life throws you a curveball, these little “cupboards” of relationships open up, reminding you that you’re not alone.
