Equality in Denmark? Sure – Until It’s Time to Arrange the Bake Sale
I started Episode 1 by stating “comparison is the thief of joy” and I do still stand by this statement, but with a few caveats. Sure, on a daily basis (so the meditation books tell me) you should be grateful, accept what you have, do not compare yourself to others…da dum, da dum, da dum. Yet, when you step into a Danish working environment, surrounded by Danish working parents—especially mothers—it becomes clear that ‘The Mother’s Mental Load’ is very much alive here too. And so, the comparisons continue…, and in a quest to quench my curiosity (and to mildly improve my dårligt (bad) Danish), I started to follow various Danish mothers on social media, who also happen to be prominent influencers here in Denmark.
What intrigues me is that in a society that is considered fairly gender equal from the outside, Danish mothers still feel the brunt of the mental load! It might be brash, judgemental or even controversial for me to say, but I’ll say it anyway – why should Danish mothers still feel the weight of the mental load? In comparison to other countries, Denmark has so much to offer by way of shared parental leave, a smaller gender pay gap (Denmark rates 3rd in Europe for this1) and returning to work is considered a given since childcare is so affordable in comparison to (there I go again) London.
Even with all these “perks”, Denmark’s women still feel they have a way to go when it comes to gender equality. And why not?! Despite rating third in Europe, globally Denmark is at number 23, with their Scandinavian neighbours rating much higher!2 Digging deeper, you’ll find that Danish mothers face the same challenges as elsewhere: an unequal division of labour in many heterosexual households. Hence why mothers in Denmark, in spite of the perks, feel ‘The Mental Load.’ While the unequal division of labour often emerges in heterosexual households, it’s important to acknowledge that families come in many forms. Parents in same-sex relationships may navigate their own unique challenges, often shaped by societal expectations and norms. However, research and lived experiences overwhelmingly highlight that ‘the mental load’ disproportionately affects mothers in heterosexual relationships, making it a critical area for change.
Global media often portrays Denmark as an idyllic, egalitarian society—think outdoorsy kids, progressive work-life balance coated with a good sprinkling of “hygge”. To some degree, this does hold some truth, however, Danish women still face a gender disparity similar to mothers elsewhere on the planet. There is far too much to unpack here when it comes to the ever notorious topic of gender (in)equality and Denmark is improving the gender equality gap, but while the mental load persists, the resilience and determination of Danish mothers, along with allies, shine through. By continuing to speak up, challenge norms, and support one another, they are not only changing their own realities but paving the way for a truly egalitarian society.
While comparison may be the thief of joy, it also serves as a mirror reflecting what’s possible. In Denmark, it reveals progress—and the path still ahead. It’s a reminder that equality isn’t just about perks—it’s about shared responsibility, at home and beyond; for parents, particularly mothers, and for a future where the mental load is no longer theirs to bear alone.
1 Denmark | 2023 | Gender Equality Index | European Institute for Gender Equality
