LaFem’s Annie Samples and Brianna Lykke on how their shared need for community as new internationals in Copenhagen led to a highly successful business, new friendships and a greater sense of belonging than they ever thought possible.
Finding friendship is one of the most challenging parts of life abroad. Making friends as an adult in any context is difficult, and when you add in a language barrier and cultural dissimilarities, it gets even more vulnerable.
The conversation about living in Denmark tends to focus, understandably, on the logistics: getting a CPR number, searching for a job, finding an apartment. These are priorities that determine your ability—financially, logistically—to stay.
But creating a community is the difference between living here and having a life here.
La Fem strives to provide that community. American creator Annie Samples (@annieineventyrland) founded the company during the pandemic and now runs it with her friend and fellow American Brianna Lykke (@brilykke). La Fem hosts events aimed at international women, introducing them to each other, to Copenhagen and to Danish culture.
This work is rooted in Annie and Brianna’s own experience. They moved to Copenhagen as young moms in 2019 and struggled to make friends. As Annie grew her online platform sharing glimpses of her life in Denmark, her followers began asking for Copenhagen guides.
La Fem still offers those guides, but Annie learned quickly that there was a demand—especially amongst internationals—for in-person gatherings. Brianna came on board last summer to expand La Fem’s event offerings, which have since included their first julefrokost, a visualization workshop and a flower arranging class. Coming soon: La Fem’s first saunagus.
LWID sat down with Annie and Brianna to talk about the power of in-person connection, LaFem’s current developments and their future plans.
LWID: What brought each of you to Copenhagen?
Brianna Lykke: My husband is Danish, and we met in Barcelona. We came to Copenhagen to have our first child and then decided to move back to the US because I couldn’t make friends here. We stayed there for a year and a half, had a second baby, and then I told my husband I would try Copenhagen again. So we came back, and the moment we landed I wrote in every single Facebook group: ”Hi, I have a three-year-old and a one-year-old, who wants to meet?” Making friends is what made me want to stay and build a life here.
Annie Samples: I moved here shortly after Brianna, in May 2019. My husband’s reputation for loving Copenhagen preceded him. When we first met he said he wanted to move here someday. And I was like, “Where is that?” Then nearly a decade passes, we have three kids, we go from New York to Portland, Oregon, and I was actually quite happy. I had a really good community there.
But all of a sudden, my husband got this opportunity to transfer, because the company he was working for opened an office here. I started doing some research about Copenhagen, and I had heard that it could be difficult to find a “way in” socially with Danes. So I came in with the expectation I would never have friends again. But then I got on a Facebook group and introduced myself and met Brianna.
LWID: So you met six years ago and became friends, but you only started working together recently?
Annie: I started my platform on social media during late COVID. My sister started sending me Tik Toks. I was seeing people share about their life abroad, but I didn’t really see anybody doing that as an American in Denmark. So I thought I’d try it out. The first series that started taking off was one called “Things that are normal in Denmark that I’m scared to tell my American friends.”
People asked me if I was going to talk about babies sleeping outside in their strollers. I put together a cute little video explaining it, and that got, I think in total, 16 million views. It gained traction, and people started asking me for help with visiting or moving to Copenhagen.
At the time, my friend Kaila offered to help me create guides [for people coming here], and that turned into events. That was going well, but it was hard for me to be consistent, given the fact that I have four kids, and I work in content creation. Kaila had to step down for health reasons, and then I was telling Brianna, “I think I’m just going to have to stop La Fem.” She said, “Hold up. I have a degree in event planning, and I would like to do that.”
That was over the summer, and since she came on board things have been really exploding.
LWID: So La Fem started as guides and itineraries. How did it evolve into events?
Bri: I was already doing what I’m doing now, but on a smaller scale. I created a WhatsApp group for moms. My daughters were going to an international school, and I would organize events to get the moms together.
[At La Fem] we try to choose things that are not just going to a bar and drinking. Nothing wrong with that at all. But that’s easy to set up on your own. To do something creative, or to do a Pilates class or breath work and brunch, or candle making—it’s nice in a group setting and allows you to meet other people that you’re not seeing regularly.
Annie: It’s really nice to connect women with local businesses, local events, and help people feel more connected to the city.
LWID: How do you fold Danish culture into La Fem?. You’ve both been here for a long time, but you’re not Danish. Does La Fem act as a bridge?
Brianna: One of our biggest events this year was a julefrokost. We wanted to add that part of our life into La Fem, and I think people took that in a really positive way. Everyone had the best time.
Annie: I would also really like to encourage more Danes to join. We live in such a global society now, I think it could be valuable to all parties to connect.
Brianna: Agreed. It’s not about being an international in Denmark. It’s more about connecting women, being positive and having fun, but not being an expat specifically.
Annie: You hear from a lot of people, “Oh, don’t only make friends with expats.” But you’re going to be friends with who you’re friends with! But if we can loop more Danes in that would be super cool, and I think everybody would benefit from it.
LWID: I know you’re looking into a commercial space. How has that process been? What is it like being an international business owner?
Annie: Oh, it’s very confusing. There are obviously so many different rules and regulations compared to your home country.
Brianna: But it’s quite easy to start a business, to register for CVR. I feel like that is why so many people do it, because it’s simply step by step. In the US it feels a bit more complicated.
Annie: Right now I am feeling a little bit intimidated by the concept of a physical place, but I think it’s what we need to expand and have a home feeling—a place where [people] can go and hang out and feel comfortable.
LWID: What’s intimidating about a physical location?
Brianna: Finances. We have to hit a certain number. We would have to charge for membership. We have to have a certain amount of people. Of course we believe in what we’re doing, but we still need a certain amount of people to commit to this with us.
Annie: There’s also the aspect of being a mom, and the time that it takes. What if we’re sick? What if our kids are sick?
Brianna: With seven kids between the two of us, there is a rotation of illness or appointments or school events.
Annie: Our professional lives kind of have to take a back seat. Maybe that’ll change over the years, but right now when we’re in these “little” years with small children, that’s the reality of it. But I’m super excited about the future that we have.
I really also want to start offering other things. [My family] used a relocation service when we moved here, and it was really great. But it’s not very holistic. They can only help so much. They can’t help you find friends, they can’t help you sign your kid up for Vuggestue or tell you which ones are good. Or how to grocery shop.
Brianna: You can get your stuff moved here and get set up in an apartment. But that’s it. So that’s where we come in to help everyone relocate.
LWID: What’s a challenge that you’ve navigated as you’re ramping things up?
Brianna: Capacity. Right now, it is expensive in Copenhagen to have events. We want to offer events to more people, but then it costs so much that we’re having a hard time scaling.
Annie: It’s very encouraging because there’s definitely demand for what we’re doing.
Brianna: We want to host events, but we don’t want it to become elitist. We’re working on finding a happy spot size-wise and price-wise. I think that is really difficult. And finding places to host. Somebody just reached out to do a fondue evening, and she wants to do it in an intimate setting. That would be my house, but I have three kids and a husband to kick out, so it’s not ideal. But renting a place is 5,000 Dkk minimum, which is why we would love [our own] venue.
Annie: On that same page, it’s also about finding our boundaries and our limits in terms of what we can offer people, vendors, and being confident in what our value is.
LWID: It must be pretty grounding to be doing work that is so meaningful for a lot of people. Does it help you feel rooted in Copenhagen? Do you feel now like this is your home?
Annie: It has helped so much. Having my platform and the connections that I’ve been able to have there have been so meaningful. The people that come to our events are some of the coolest, most incredible people ever.
Brianna: Everyone is so positive and brings their energy. Everyone is looking for the same things: a few friendships, somebody to grab coffee with, somebody to share an experience with, and that’s really so powerful. My husband is a big dreamer, and he’ll talk about moving back to the US, moving to Dubai. I always say, “I’m not leaving my friends.” I’m not just going to pick up and leave.
LWID: This feels like a lot for two people. How do you split your roles? Do you think about expanding your team?
Annie: Yes. I really want to find a way to sell a product or an offering, like the relocation service, so that we can have a sustainable income, as well as maybe have a bigger team. With that service, the idea is to train a number of women that have been here a long time and pair them up with other families. And of course, that could be for incoming families or families that are already located here.
LWID: How can people get involved with La Fem?
Annie: Sometimes joining an in-person event can feel really intimidating, especially at this time of year. If you have the space and capacity for it, try to get to an event. If not, join our online community or join our WhatsApp group. Download a guide, or be active on our Instagram.
Brianna: Or send us an email! If you don’t know where to buy jeans, or you just need a coffee shop recommendation in Østerbro!
