“Speaking Danish is an act of vulnerability every time you do it”
Interview: Brooke Fossey, aka Instagram’s Nearly Danish Dame
Brooke Fossey, better known to her 17,000 Instagram followers as the Nearly Danish Dame, doesn’t like to think of herself as an influencer. This is understandable: the words “Instagram” and “influencer” have certain negative associations: unattainable glamour, pushing products we don’t need, ego, fakery. All this couldn’t be further from what the Nearly Danish Dame account embodies. Fossey’s posts, delving into her love of the Danish language, its history, fascinations and quirks, feel like spending time at your local cafe, chatting to a regular. Alongside her passion for Danish, Fossey shares snapshots of her everyday life in Copenhagen, including the Nørrebrø bakery and the brewery in Østerbro where she works. These are just two of the jobs Fossey juggles alongside running the Nearly Danish Dame account for the sheer love of it.
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Fossey started her account nearly two years ago, having just moved to Copenhagen from her native New York with her husband and young family. At the time, she was studying for her Prøve i Dansk 3 (PD3), the exam that non-Danish natives take to demonstrate their proficiency in Danish, that is required to access higher education, certain types of employment and citizenship). She thought the account might be a light-hearted way to revise the grammar and vocabulary she had to study for the exam. Nearly 600 posts and many thousands of followers later,
Nearly 600 posts and many thousands of followers later, the account has grown beyond Fossey’s wildest imaginings. Each of her posts attract hundreds of comments offering vocabulary, debating the origins or meaning of a word or expression, posing questions. It feels, she says, like a “really amazing community where people share. Effectively, I have 17,000 teachers!” Fossey is adamant that she doesn’t think what she’s doing is “anything very special”. She describes herself as “just a normal person who really loves learning Danish and loves sharing that”. But to many internationals in Denmark, and aspiring ones, Fossey is unquestionably an influencer. She’s a beacon of hope to internationals like me that we can overcome the two greatest challenges: mastering Danish and integrating into the local community. I tell Fossey my wife and I used to watch her posts when we first arrived in Denmark and think, “She managed this! She seems really happy here! It’s all going to be ok!”
By last summer, the Nearly Danish Dame account had gathered enough momentum to catch the attention of Go’Morgen Danmark and Fossey found herself on its sofa being interviewed, in Danish, about her story. This has turned her into a bit of a local celebrity. I meet her at the bakery where she works and before we even sit down, Fossey has been stopped by a starry-eyed fan of her account who’s in Copenhagen on holiday and desperate to move here. As we get coffee, one of Fossey’s colleagues tells her she’s just missed “a man” who had come in asking for her. Fossey laughs. “A man that I know, or not?” she asks. So is this level of attention her new normal? She laughs again. “No, no,” she says modestly. “It’s honestly not! This never happens!”
Once the admirers disperse, we sit down with coffee and pastries to talk more about settling into Danish life as an immigrant, mastering the language, why she loves Danish rap so much and how a preloved Christiania bike started it all!
What brought you to Denmark originally?
It’s a long, convoluted story, not LEGO but another Danish invention! In 2016 I found a used Christiania bike on a marketplace site in the US where we lived at the time, and fell in love with it. I had no idea at the time that the bikes were made in Copenhagen! A lot of my kids’ core memories are connected with that bike, sitting up front and me talking with them. I loved that bike so much I got it as my first tattoo, which is so funny now because I didn’t expect to be living here! Later, I started a bagel business out of that bike and I became known as the “Lady Who Sells Bagels From Her Red Bike”! Then my husband took a work trip to Copenhagen and we finally realised the bike came from here! We came for a long weekend together and fell in love with Copenhagen. I started learning Danish before we had any plan to move here. I just knew I wanted to visit again and I wanted to be able to order a coffee in Danish when I came back! I started Duolingo over the Pandemic then I took classes online for a year. We started to talk about moving here. At first we thought we’d do it when we retired, then we thought, “Why wait?” We job-hunted unsuccessfully for a long time and eventually resigned ourselves to it not working out. We bought a house in the US and straight after that my husband got a job offer in Copenhagen! We had planned a vacation here anyway so we thought, “If we can’t live there, let’s go for a month”. We came on vacation in 2022 and we just didn’t leave.
You literally just didn’t go home?!
Yes! My kids, who are now 12 and 9, started school while we were on vacation! We were like “So, guess what kids? School’s actually starting this week!”
So where does the Nearly Danish Dame account enter the story?
My first posts were what I was learning in PD3, the last Danish module. I thought I would start posting grammar, expressions and so on that I was learning to challenge myself. I wanted to try to hold on to the fun as PD3 can become very much about working towards the test. I thought if I could explain what I was learning for other people, maybe that meant it was solidified in my head. I thought my followers would be other immigrants learning Danish, but somewhere along the way lots of Danes also started following. They love their language and they’re proud of it, and I think they’re excited that an “outsider” is trying to learn it!
Originally I just did text posts then I started doing videos. The first ones are so cringey! I think I’m a bit awkward in front of the camera but I’m embracing the awkwardness!
I don’t think that at all! I think you’re very natural and people clearly connect with that!
Oh, the first videos are definitely super cringey! I’ve gotten more comfortable in front of the camera. At some point the videos just became more popular as well. Maybe it’s a relatability thing. Now I pretty much only make videos! I’ve had to learn lots about social media, video editing and so on!
When did you become aware that the account was really starting to take off?
I think probably when Go’Morgen Danmark reached out. I was so outside my comfort zone on that show, sweating profusely, so nervous! I thought it must be a slow news day! Like, why would they want to talk to me?! Like I said, I don’t feel like I’m doing anything special except maybe providing some inspiration and motivation to others that they can do this.
The account has come to mean so much to your followers. What does it mean to you?
I’m so grateful for this account. When you move to a new place, there’s a tendency towards loneliness. It’s made me feel connected to Denmark. It’s given me the small, casual connections that give us life and hope for figuring out our path. It’s been so positive for me and so unexpected. I’ve met so many people through it.
Some people think I make money from the account but I don’t at all! It’s purely for fun and I want to keep it a labour of love. That allows me to be curious and follow whatever I think is interesting and be myself. I’m not beholden to anyone else. I don’t have to think: “How is this going to play out? Will it make money?”
I get so many nice messages, for example people telling me they passed PD3. I get a lot of messages from Danes too asking if I know certain expressions or have seen certain things in the news. That’s really lovely.
You clearly have a real love of Danish. That’s so evident in all your posts!
I really do! It’s so random. I wish I had known how much I loved languages earlier in my life. It’s not pushed in the US. I also think there’s something about learning later in life. There’s self-acceptance, grace with making mistakes, learning to embrace them as the best way to learn rather than a reflection of your intellect. It’s very hard to be so vulnerable. I really think speaking Danish is an act of vulnerability every time you do it. You’re putting yourself out there. You’re never as funny in your second language. I’m always five seconds behind!
Do you feel more comfortable being funny in Danish now?!
I can occasionally make some good jokes! People will say that’s when you really know you’ve mastered a language. It’s few and far between though! But I feel it’s getting to a point of knowing what you know and don’t and being ok with saying “Hvad siger du?”, “Jeg kan ikke forstår” and so on. I realised a while ago how often Danes will ask each other to repeat what they’re saying! I hear that a lot at my winter bathing spot when Danes are talking together. And I thought: “If Danes are allowed to do that, I’m going to give myself a pass!” If you ask someone to repeat, usually you’ll understand the second time. Or if you repeat yourself, they will understand you.
How different do you think living here would be for you if you hadn’t learned Danish?
I think your perception of how long you might be here really frames your language-learning journey. Everyone’s background is completely different and everyone brings different skills and baggage. I don’t judge anyone for not learning Danish. I understand why that happens. It’s a huge investment. But I do think Danish has opened doors for me – to friendships, job opportunities. It’s made me feel part of Denmark in a way I think wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t speak Danish. I have Danish friends who do speak English but actually they prefer to speak Danish. There would be lots of missed opportunities, missed experiences, missed connections without Danish. It’s the key to a sense of belonging in this new country for me. I think even ordering a coffee in Danish can be a small connection. Language connects us.
What has been most helpful to you in learning Danish?
I was still doing Duolingo until two weeks ago! I had a streak and it was so hard for me to let it go! My son was like “Noooooooo!” It was like 1735 days! But it was time to let it go and make space for other things!
It can be very hard to speak Danish in Denmark if you’re an international! Most of the time, if Danes hear a non-Danish accent, they’ll switch to English to make it easier! I just keep speaking in Danish and eventually they switch back, or I tell them “Jeg lærer dansk”! At the brewery where I work, I try to speak Danish as much as possible. That’s the safest space for me, I think! The bar is so low – everyone’s in a good mood! They’re my captive audience for speaking Danish! I love going there.
I often think if I had moved to a completely non-English-speaking country, would I be fluent by now? The Danes are so good at speaking English that it does make it hard.
I would say start as soon as you can when you arrive. Sign up for the free lessons when you get your CPR number. If you’ve been here a while, it’s not too late. Start today. If you build a habit every day, it’ll become part of you and you’ll eventually get it. There’s always a reason why life is too busy. Just start today, even if it’s watching a bit of Danish tv or switching your phone’s language settings so you have to try to decipher notifications and so on in Danish!
I love learning Danish through music. Danish rap music is all I listen to! My entire Spotify Unwrapped list this year was Danish rap! In rap or hip-hop there are so many more words than a traditional song and so many plays on words. There’s slang, rhyming, swear words! It’s fascinating! Sometimes there are very old expressions that even Danes will tell me they don’t know the origin of! That curiosity of hearing a word and diving into what its origins are – there’s so much learning in that. Find what’s interesting to you and devour it!
I shouldn’t say this but it’s also great when you get to the level where you can eavesdrop on conversations in Danish on the train! You hear all sorts of things!
Overall, staying curious is the most important thing because then you’re not fighting learning. Being kind to yourself and realising it’s not a linear path. You will plateau and you will find things difficult. Any subject is like that. If you show up every day and keep building, you will push through.
Is there any aspect of Danish you’re still working on improving?
Oh, everything, but especially my vowel sounds! I have trouble with them and I think it’s partly because I taught myself for a year on Duolingo. I didn’t know any Danes so I couldn’t correct myself. I’m the Nearly Danish Dame – I’m not fully there! I’m figuring out what kind of a mix of Danish and American I am and we are as a family, and accepting that my Danish accent will always have a hint of that in it. It might sometimes feel embarrassing but it’s me and it’s my whole past leading up to here and it’s probably something I’ll never get rid of. And that’s kind of beautiful too!
What do you love most about Denmark?
So many things! Number one is that it feels safe. It’s a really easy, family-friendly place to live. I had been carrying around some anxieties about safety in the US – my own as a woman and my children’s – and it took me a while to let go of that. For example, school doors are unlocked. I would think: “Someone could just walk in and take my child”. Then I thought, “Who really wants my child?!” But seriously, there’s that level of safety here and a level of trust that everyone carries. Nobody really bothers anyone else either, as long as you don’t bother them. It’s a bit of a miracle to witness.
I’ve also met the most open and sweet Danes. I know people say it can be hard to break into Danish social circles but I know so many Danes who are open to helping internationals acclimate and learn the language. I’m really grateful for that.
What’s the future of the Nearly Danish Dame account?
I have been thinking about that and how I push myself through running the account, especially now I’ve finished my own Danish classes. There’s no set plan really. I follow what excites me and inspires me so it’ll be more words and expressions!
I do want to do more collaboration with others on my posts. I’ve just launched the Tal Dansk Med Mig (Speak Danish With Me) series, where I hope to interview both Danes and people learning Danish to share snippets of conversation and give other people practice in speaking and listening in Danish. Anyone who wants to join the project – just write to me over Instagram!
Follow Brooke on Instagram at @nearlydanishdame
