The Danish winter can be hard to handle. With limited sunlight, frequent rain and a general sense of greyness, it’s a wonder that the nation’s nearly six million inhabitants not only survive, but thrive, with Denmark continuing to rank among the happiest countries in the world in global studies. How do we do it? What’s the secret? As an international now braving through my sixth Mordor season, I can share with you the secret to surviving ultimately comes down to mindset. Here are some tips on how to find the hope to cope.
11 Ways to Stay Healthy in the Danish Winter
- Classify “going for a walk” as “hardcore exercise.”
Leaping over puddles increases your step count by a ratio of 4:1, and resisting the windchill doubles your caloric outtake. Relieve yourself from the guilt of feeling like your gym suddenly feels too far away in this weather. It is!! Walking 75 meters while squinting in Denmark is scientifically equivalent to running a half marathon in Portugal, or any of the other more meteorologically open-minded parts of the world.
2. Eat some meat.
Pro-tein is an anti-depressant. Please don’t look that up… just finish your flæskesteg so you can have some frikadeller for dessert.
3. Also eat some things that are not meat.
A viking-era loophole has made it so that potatoes officially qualify as a vegetable and a fruit in this country. Bread is a renewable resource, and butter is basically prescribed to Danish children from birth. Listen to your local pediatrician.
4. Drink your warmth.
Tea, coffee, soup, and gløgg, are all sippable solutions to your seasonal shivering. The food pyramid is ever-changing; it was recently turned literally upside down. Don’t take any chances. There is no official drink pyramid.
5. Take Vitamin D in any form.
Pills, gummies, nasal spray; cold liquid, hot liquid, droplets; patch, injection, or radiation chamber. There’s no wrong way to ingest this crucial nutrient. Vitamin D is like Nike: Just Do It.
6. Start a new hobby or collection.
Trending hobbies and collections include: sweaters, cakes, and storage containers. So layer up, eat sweet, and put away all your responsibilities for now.
7. Learn how to layer.
Vogue Scandinavia identifies three layers for Danish fashion, but you can actually extend that to seven if necessary. Taco Bell made a seven layer burrito, and no one has ever complained about Taco Bell being too cold.
8. Buy some candles and enjoy the darkness.
I’m not condoning Satanism or occult worship, I’m just saying: if you can’t beat the dark, at least embrace it. Put on a black sweater, force a smile, and stock up on candles, candle holders, and more candles.
9. Laugh with the weather report.
“Hey Alexa, what’s the weather today?” is a hilarious question to ask a Danish smart home device between October and February. Why waste your wifi on “Siri, tell me a joke?”
10. Hibernate for six weeks.
Bears hibernate for up to seven months every year, and they’ve been killing it for hundreds of years. You can afford to put in a good month and a half of constant slumber, just wake up in time to take time off for vinterferie.
11. Once a day, open the door and take a breath of fresh air.
Hold it in. Keep it in.
Close the door. Stay inside.
Repeat steps one through eleven.
See you on the other side!
